Consequences


 

The theme of today’s reflections will be consequences. Consequences as the result of decisions made.

Every day, every second of our lives, we make decisions. Some we make consciously, others not. Sometimes perhaps automatically, driven by habit. "Life can only be understood backwards; but it must be lived forwards," as Kierkegaard used to say. Consequently, we can only notice the effects of our decisions from the perspective of passing time.

Sometimes I encounter an attitude of negation toward results. Though perhaps more fitting words would be "rejection" and "denial." When the outcome of a decision is not what we wished for, we are capable of rejecting it and refusing to come to terms with the situation. To me, acceptance is the key.

To live in harmony with ourselves, we need balance to experience happiness. When we negate the reality surrounding us, disharmony occurs. A disturbance—one that prevents us from feeling happy.

I will write one more thing. I do not agree with the victim mentality; I reject it in my life. I want to be aware that I have an influence on my life. I don't like using the phrase that something "happened to me." It didn't just happen. It was likely a consequence of decisions I made. By adopting the position of a victim—one where life "happens" to us—we strip ourselves of our agency.

Let’s return to the topic of consequences. Reflection on the situations we’ve lived through probably visits each of us—both the good ones that gave us wings, and those that clipped them. Every such moment had its beginning in a decision. If we were to trace every situation back, there is always a decision at the start.

Certain circumstances forced me to pause and verify my attitude toward consequences. Do I know how to accept them? I think so, although I haven't yet experienced all the moments that would help me fully verify this stance. Experience verifies everything.

I am not a believer. This is a conscious decision, behind which stands a desire for free choice and to be the architect of the time I have left. A decision that has its consequences, and one that I accept.

Sometimes in life, we make decisions that impact many aspects of our existence. And not just ours. Our decisions cause consequences felt by those closest to us. We are a set of interconnected vessels.

  • Today’s shouting at a child is tomorrow’s young person lacking self-confidence.

  • Today’s alcohol consumed at a party is tomorrow’s car accident.

  • Today’s kiss is tomorrow’s long-term relationship.

  • Today’s betrayal is tomorrow’s broken family.

  • Today’s honest conversation is tomorrow’s trust.

Recently, while talking to someone close to me who was struggling with negative thoughts, I advised them to look at the big picture of their life. Just because you find yourself in a moment you don't want to be in today doesn't mean it will always be this way. Life is not a reflection of a single moment, but a long-term project. Given my passion for running, I like to compare life to a race. The fact that you feel fatigue at the 13th kilometer of a marathon and need to slow down to regain strength doesn't mean the race is meaningless. And even if you fall a hundred meters before the finish line, it doesn't mean the 42 kilometers you’ve already covered don't matter.

Everything is a consequence. When you wake up today, it is the consequence of good choices. You are alive. When you are surrounded by people you respect, and who respect you in return, you have made the right decisions.

And if you feel a sense of lack? Perhaps the prescription you have for your life needs an update. If you feel a lack, revise your decisions, and the consequences will revise themselves.

You are a free human being. Decisions, though influenced by many factors, are always yours. And consequences are their fruits.

Be the architect of your own time. :-)

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