Unkindness

 


The source of today’s entry can be traced back to the immeasurable abysses of social media.

A few weeks ago, I made the decision to go on a digital social media detox. The detox was supposed to consist of vanishing from the platform with the white letter "f" on a blue background. Not permanently, just for a moment. Unfortunately, nowadays the "f" platform has also become a source of news, and since I frequently search for music updates, my presence there is, like it or not, somewhat dictated by my interests.

The first digital detox lasted several weeks and gave me a great deal. First and most importantly, I realized that taking a break from social media threw off my profile's algorithm. Years ago, unaware of how algorithms work, I used to click aimlessly on increasingly sensational headlines and comments, which left my nerves stretched to the limit and filled me with an overwhelming urge to share my opinion on every topic. This had negative consequences, but, unaware at the time, I kept pushing forward.

Social media detox number one ended after about three months, but it was an incredible experience. It allowed me to understand certain mechanisms occurring in our minds that I previously had no idea existed.

I made attempt number two. This time it lasted significantly less—about a week. It was more about mental hygiene than fighting the mega-corporations of this world.

However, today wasn't supposed to be about social media, but about society as a whole. Perhaps social media made me realize that society is plagued by a disease called unkindness. Maybe in the virtual world, hidden behind our keyboards and the screens of our phones, tablets, or other devices, it is simply more comfortable for us to be unkind.

I wonder why we are unkind to one another. Is it a way to release the frustration and tension we don't know how to cope with? Or perhaps an attempt to divert attention from our own failures? Years ago, before social media platforms became part of our daily lives, I met two skinheads who were deeply involved in the extreme nationalist scene. We didn't discuss worldviews very often, as my world was vastly different from theirs. As I learned more about them, I saw two lost kids, hardened by life, who ran to an environment that accepted and welcomed them while giving them a sense of self-worth. I'm not a psychologist, though I am deeply fascinated by what goes on inside our minds—and above all, why certain things happen rather than others.

I wonder why we put so much effort into hurting, humiliating, and harming another human being, when kindness costs so little.

Saying a kind word to someone can give them wings and, in an instant, change our world as well.

Being a parent changes your perspective. Today I learned from my son that a child is a "walking responsibility." I fell in love with that phrase. As a parent, you don't want a world that hurts for your "walking responsibility." That is why we extend our kindness to our children first.

Why don't we extend it to others?

"You look great," "Your coffee tastes amazing," "Talking to you is wonderful," "You're a fascinating person." These words cost nothing, yet for someone else, they can be an investment in building self-esteem.

I am extending an open hand toward you, not a fist.

P.S. Writing this post inspired me to escape from the platform with the letter "f" once again.

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