Fatal Limitation

 A new year, a new beginning. What for many remains a cause for smiles and derision, for others it is another opportunity presented by life.


I won't dwell here on what kind of New Year's resolutions we have and what their meaning is. 


This entry will be about something completely different. 


About the passing of time.


“Memento mori”. 


I'm reading an interesting book at the moment, and I think it influences my thoughts and, in a way, what today's entry is about.


We don't think about the fact that our time is finite. Or in other words, we push this thought away from ourselves. 


Mindlessly losing ourselves in the distractions of everyday life. 


“Time is money” proclaims the adage. In a way I agree, but I will change it slightly for the purposes of today's entry.


“Time is currency. The most valuable one we have. It's worth leaning on this statement for at least a moment and thinking. We have a limited amount of our currency. How do we spend it? 


How much of that currency do we put to work? Probably a lot. Each of us is different. We have different goals, objectives, plans. We strive for something. Our material existence is a cost to pay for. We pay perhaps 8 hours a day. Maybe 10. or maybe we pay 60-70 hours a week. It varies depending on what our priorities are.


My master used to say that some things are not cost effective, but they are worth doing.


 It is not cost effective to pay 1000zl for a ticket to a band concert that lasts two hours. However, when being at such a concert you reach for the sky and find out that what was once unattainable for you is suddenly within your reach, I think it is worth it after all. 


It is not cost effective to go out with your child in the evening during a blizzard for a 15-minute walk, but when the child after a few years recalls this crazy moment with a smile, you know that he has hidden in his heart a memory that will stay with him and it was worth it after all.


It is  not cost effective  to buy a ticket to Norway just to listen to a band's song on the shore of a fjord at night just because you once imagined that moment, but maybe it's worth it?


Our currency is time. We invest that currency. Sometimes thoughtlessly, sometimes prudently. It's not for me to judge. My goal today is to make you, dear readers, realize that this is so.


We are mortally limited. Our time is finite. We do not know how much of this currency we have in our account. 


It is worth remembering this and reminding ourselves of it very often. Perhaps then we will be able to spend more wisely the remaining currency that we have left.


When the realization of our mortality hits us with all its force, life changes in an instant as if by magic. We turn to what is important to us. 


The problem is that we push this thought away from us. We think that our time is unlimited and that we will manage to do everything we have planned. So we plan more and more. And death mocks our plans in the distance. It allows us to persist in our misconception until the time comes when we painfully verify all our plans.


If I were to impart one and only one life truth to my children before I pass away it would be “Go into the world and taste it. The variety of colors and moments. And remember that your time is finite, so do everything you can so that when death knocks on your door, you can say with your head held high that you have tasted life in every facet of it.” 


Sometimes I think that it's okay to lie to everyone around us but to ourselves we have a moral responsibility not to be a liar. So let's each answer individually dear readers: “What is worth?”


With this question I leave you in the first week of 2025. 


And I wish you all to live each day consciously.


Pimel


“... I am circling like a polar wolf


In the wolf's soul call


What to fear in the warmth of the heard?


The sharp fangs of the gods of unfulfillment


Eyes that extinguish everything


All flame from the mouth...”

(Roman Kostrzewski)


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