Perspectives

 “Man is the measure of all things.”

I had been meaning to write this post for some time. As usual, several matters came together, forming billions of thoughts which—untamed—found their reflection in the post below.

I recently had an extremely interesting conversation with a younger generation. This younger generation stands on the threshold of making decisions that may have a greater impact on what the future will look like. Each of us makes such decisions every day; however, some of them appear, at a given moment, to be the “more important” ones. Perhaps some of them constitute a fundamental crossroads in our lives.

I have already written about decisions. At the moment, I have no further reflections on that subject. What has reached me recently, however, is just how great an influence perspective has on us.

Several important factors affect which path we choose at a crossroads. Perspective is one of them.

We live in a world of judgments. They come at us from all sides. Good, bad, ugly, pretty, cheap, expensive. We cannot avoid judging. I am also convinced that we cling so persistently to this world of judgment that, being unable to find ourselves outside it, we do not even try to escape from it.

And yet, one can disagree beautifully.

Much depends on the willingness to understand.

Many, many autumns ago, a friend lent me a book. A book that became a foundation for me—something on which I could rest thoughts I had been unable to name until then, thoughts which, in a rebellious young mind, were like turbulent waves of a restless ocean. The book was titled Creating Oneself and was written by Maria Szyszkowska, a professor of philosophy at the University of Warsaw. My introduction to philosophy.

I mention this book for a reason. It was there that I encountered a term which Professor Szyszkowska developed beautifully: empathy.

Empathy, in my view, is precisely an attempt to change perspective—from mine to yours. An attempt to understand you.

Observing relationships for quite some time now, I dare to suggest that empathy is in retreat. Many things contribute to this. We allow ourselves to be manipulated by everyday life. We hand over power over our own identity to those who try to convince us that they know what is best for us, even without knowing us personally.

A change of perspective is sometimes a natural process. Over time, we look at life—and at the situations we have experienced—through different eyes. Perhaps enriched by other experiences or by knowledge we have acquired along our path.

Awareness of the existence of perspective is, in my opinion, valuable in life. I once fought fiercely for the right to be right—until the moment I understood that there can be many “rights.” What helped me was precisely the realization that perspective exists. From that moment on, it was no longer being right that mattered to me, but learning. Understanding. Finding answers to the question “why.” Understanding another person is the prelude to a relationship with them.

Awareness of perspective is invaluable when it comes to relationships with children. Perhaps not everyone, but I am convinced that my generation grew up in an era of “what’s good for the governor is not for you, you rascal.” An era in which a child was reduced to the role of a passive listener, without the right to actively participate in their own life. Decisions were often made over our heads. Meanwhile, the generation of our children has a completely different awareness. They fight and push forward to have an influence over their own lives. I value this nonconformism. They make choices and fight for them. We do not always understand them, but this is a topic I may address in a separate post.

When we allow ourselves to accept the fact that children also have perspectives, and we attempt to understand them, our relationships will become entirely different. I sincerely believe this.

I will conclude with an anecdote.

Some time ago, during a job interview, I was sitting opposite someone I knew, who was deciding whether to hire me for a responsible position. I was asked how I would attempt to engage people in the workplace. I took a sheet of paper and drew a large number 6. I asked what they saw (they were sitting opposite me). They replied that they saw a 9.

“And I see a 6,” I replied, “but I am here, and you are in a different place. Each of us has a different perspective. The key is not always convincing others of your own rightness, but making them aware that other perspectives may exist. Together, we see two numbers—two completely different perspectives—and because of them, we are richer,” I added.

I got the job. 🙂

Kind regards