Paddle your own canoe

 Inspiration stems from life. Moments in which we experience something and consciously feel the impact sometimes lead to inspiration. This blog is no different. Seemingly insignificant moments occasionally result in profound inspiration.

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How do you experience your life? Whom do you live it for? Are you truly living it for yourself?

Several recent events have been the driving force behind this entry…

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We often tell ourselves that we are free and that we make decisions independently of others. However, we frequently deceive ourselves, and in reality, many circumstances and people influence us. The extent of that influence remains our decision… to some extent.

In truth, we shape ourselves throughout our lives. Unfortunately, from childhood, we are taught that we should be subservient and listen to others. Other people are right. When we are children, our natural sense of freedom is stifled because “certain things are not appropriate.” We adapt and are molded from an early age.

It’s no wonder that as adults, we sometimes feel lost in this vast, chaotic world.

We find ourselves in a realm of perpetual judgment. We navigate between these judgments to avoid the ones that would tarnish us.

So many times, I listen to conversations. I didn’t use to, but now I do. And repeatedly, I hear people justifying their behaviors. On the other hand, we tend to judge everything. Good, bad, unnecessary, impractical, beautiful, ugly. When two people are talking, and one says to the other, “You know, I bought a boat,” I can already anticipate the response on the other person’s face. And I’m rarely wrong. “Why do you need a boat? Our weather is probably too lousy for you to fully enjoy it. Besides, you have so much on your plate right now.”

More reasons against the boat fall like thunderbolts from a clear sky. And in that first, frantic attempt to confirm the need for buying a boat, new reasons are concocted, each one asserting its necessity. It all boils down to proving a point.

Why do we need to be right? What does winning battles truly give us, battles that often lead to arguments? An empty sense of victory and validation?”

I am not you, and you are not me. You need a boat. You have dreams, and realizing them will allow you to take a step into the clouds (as Hłasko wrote). Dreams are like nectar of the gods. Once tasted, life somehow gains deeper meaning.

I’ll never forget when years ago, in certain circumstances, a friend declared that wearing combat boots was a manifestation of a certain phase in life and that “You'll grow out of it.” I felt a strong objection in my mind because I couldn’t comprehend that I could outgrow my combat boots. Here, the boots were a metaphor. They symbolized a rebellion and a nonconformist view of the world, set against the backdrop of heavy music, punk rock, metal. Unpopular. Nearly twenty years have passed since that moment, and with a smile, I can affirm that my “spiritual combat boots” are still in place. Perhaps a bit more worn. Perhaps stained mercilessly by the grime of life, which each of us eventually gets smeared with. But they’re there. Then and now, I pondered one thing deep within my consciousness: You can’t outgrow something that resonates deeply with your identity. You can mature. You can gain experiences—both good and bad. But you can’t outgrow being yourself.

I admire people who can be true to themselves. Who can be integral to their identity and boldly speak about what contradicts their very essence.

I also admire those who, despite often being ridiculed, persist in being congruent and honest with themselves.

To all my dear readers, I wish that you find your path toward that first step into the clouds and that you don’t shy away from taking it.

Your life is only one. There is no later. There is only now.

If you want to sail into the vast waters of happiness, you have an obligation to be, as Mickiewicz wrote, "paddle your own canoe..."