THE STATE OF MIND

 In the distance, the sound of raging waves echoes. In a gust of cold afternoon wind, I feel your presence and remember every whisper. Thrown like an accusation into space. No turning point. Without value... The icy loneliness of our coexistence leaves a dark mark on every corner we have overcome without words.  Silence is a dagger that slowly draws more and more circles in my soul, dispassionately depriving me of existence.  I am broken, I am bent. In the closed suffering of our absence. I am what I hated most about myself every day. A bloody speck of existence dust.  Purgatory for life.

" Somewhere far away the piano is playing again concert on the keyboard of my emotions.   I love,   I must love you..."  In the mad rush of moments, we have less and less time. Fewer and fewer moments to calmly think about the most important things. Therefore, we are less and less aware of ourselves. We know ourselves less and less. We become people who surround ourselves with events who do not fully understand themselves.  I am convinced that self-awareness is the foundation of a happy existence.  Sometimes, if we are not aware of ourselves, life gives us scenarios that allow us to know ourselves better. And then there is forced cognition. Sometimes it's good, sometimes it's not.  That's the introduction.  What is love?  It's hard to answer this question. It's hard to even describe this feeling in words. There are many types of it. Love for a child, for a parent, for a partner. Each one is different.  Love can make us do amazing things. For ...

 For some time I have been thinking about how much influence a mere chance has on our lives.  A twist of fate that makes you shudder by mocking our plans.  Once, during one of the conversations with my friend, he came to the conclusion that you have to be extremely unlucky to be born in Poland.  Apart from the fact that it was an obvious irony, this statement stayed with me for a long time. Or rather, the essence of this sentence stayed with me for longer.  A chance that controls our lives.  How many key moments in our lives are coincidences? Let's ask ourselves this question. There are so many variables that it is impossible to predict how our lives would turn out if any of them were affected. However, it is worth thinking about.  What if?  Starting from the very beginning. What if you were born in another country. Perhaps today he would be running from the whistling of bullets and the sounds of explosions. Perhaps today, extreme hunger exhaustio...

"The world is my imagination" once wrote Artur Shopenhauer.  Sometimes, when I find a moment for reflection, which has been less and less lately, these words come back to me. In moments of unstable emotions, turns, ambiguous assessments of the situation...  It is a real art to separate yourself from your self in moments of unstable emotions and look at yourself from a different perspective. Am I assessing the situation correctly? Are the moments I record perhaps passed through the prism of my thoughts and then subjected to subjective evaluation?  We almost always evaluate moments from this perspective. We surrender to an all-encompassing force that later guides our behaviour.  However, sometimes it is worth considering whether a given situation can be read differently. Is it possible to look for clues that will change the prism.  I am convinced that most of the misunderstandings we experience in life are the result of misreading situations.  Another factor ...

  A few words about education. Once, a long time ago, when I was still attending high school, I wrote an essay entitled "Radio Maryja - the mouth of Satan". I got a good grade for the essay, but what was most important to me at that moment - I had the opportunity to express my critical view. The time I spent at school I remembered as average. Not very bad, but not great either. Perhaps the sociological function turned out to be more important than the educational function. I met many interesting and valuable people with whom I am still in touch today. On my way I met some very interesting teachers. The ones that are listened to with interest. Those who impart knowledge in a way that makes you hungry for that knowledge and want more. Those who created the foundations for shaping my criticism of the surrounding world. I remember three: prof. Pikulska-Brembor, prof. Małecka and priest (!) Piotr Gabryś. From today's perspective, I can see how important it is for the education...

  Nietzsche once wrote:  "We were friends and have become estranged. But this was right, and we do not want to conceal and obscure it from ourselves as if we had reason to feel ashamed. We are two ships each of which has its goal and course; our paths may cross and we may celebrate a feast together, as we did—and then the good ships rested so quietly in one harbor and one sunshine that it may have looked as if they had reached their goal and as if they had one goal. But then the almighty force of our tasks drove us apart again into different seas and sunny zones, and perhaps we shall never see one another again,—perhaps we shall meet again but fail to recognize each other: our exposure to different seas and suns has changed us! That we have to become estranged is the law above us: by the same token we should also become more venerable for each other! And thus the memory of our former friendship should become more sacred! There is probably a tremendous but invisible stellar orb...

 Uncritical, speckled acceptance Fleeting clouds of consciousness. The feathers of existence. A lonely whisper in the voices of the crowd. The first sip. Dark as a starless night Tar gulp. Kids Noiseless cathedrals Endless corridors Rushing torrents.

 There are times when the value of thought carries beyond the horizon of existence and consciousness like a madman suddenly perceives a flash that it could not see before.  Talking about existential topics, I came to the conclusion that Catholic morality is more and more incomprehensible to me. I see more and more gaps, silences and even ethically crippled behaviours. I once asked a person if he thought his plans would come true. "God willing," she replied. It made me dumbfounded and then bent over these words and thought about them. "God willing." "And if he doesn't." As a believer, am I blaming it all on God's will? Is the free will allegedly experienced by believers limited? The morality of god is a terribly interesting subject for me. Terribly incomprehensible and incomprehensible. When someone is lucky and succeeds in implementing a plan, I hear: "Thank God" or "God bless you". According to Catholics (or Christians in a bro...

Some time ago I found an article, the author talked to a psychologist about evil in man. The genesis of this article was the behavior of Russian soldiers in Ukraine. We know from the available information that the scale of the atrocities committed by Russian soldiers is unimaginable. The psychologist, when asked why this was happening, explained that it was due to many factors, such as the long-term dehumanization of Ukrainians by the Russian media, hatred, lack of control ... The main message, however, was that every human being is prone to evil, provided that he is acted upon by certain factors. History gives us countless examples of cruelty. World War II is perhaps one of the best. The mechanism that operated in Nazi Germany was similar. Dehumanizing Jews. When propaganda stripped them of their humanity, it was easier for an ordinary soldier to explain that he was actually doing nothing wrong. Although there are such disgraceful examples in post-war history. One of the most memorabl...